Issues with a girl.. need your thoughts!

FunkyMan

FunkyMan

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I feel comfortable and confident to ask these things here.. so thankyou guys! the thing is..

In summary, I have a girl I met months ago, we had several dates,we started liking each other, and bla bla bla.. all those things you guys know what happen when you meet a girl, well... we reached a point where we were in search of a serious relationship, and suddenly she gave me a huge disappointment.. So much so, that it was impossible for me to rethink that i wanted something serious with her.. she was not trustworthy ,she had a mask all the time.. well long story.. the point is:

I don't want anything serious with her anymore, in fact I've been avoiding her all this time, but, I can't deny that she still likes me, and we had a wonderful SX all this time, (we still have, don't worry i use protection) we are still dating occasionally, I tried to have a type of relationship like "Only For SX" you got it? but it is still hard for me to not feel jealous of her, I have tried to maintain an attitude like "I Don't Care, you can date anyone" But it's hard hehe:lol::x..

Any of you know a trick to have a relationship like that, but that doesn't affect you emotionally? :P she seems to accept it, because she knows that I never again want anything serious with her but she still likes me..

(the problem with all this is that it gives me a little scared, because she will go here and there, having SX with other guys for sure, and if she could get a disease and then infecting me?) Thank you!
 
I'm no scientician (a scientist yes, but scientician no) but trying to keep feelings out of it is gunna be hard. I am not really one to talk :last time i tried to keep it casual i ended up with my current 5year,house buying, might-as-well-be-married and very happy relationship.

BUT i've seen this kinda thing go nasty and hurtful for a few mates. You have two probs here man, one: you do, or used to, like this girl, so right from the start feelings are driving this relationship. two: from what i've seen regular rooting without feelings will either lead to eventual boredom or one person wanting something more. Both can get someone hurt.

Not trying to be too negative here, if you can get it to work then do whatever makes you happy.

All i can say is be careful, stay honest and make sure you dont get into a situation where you are gunna get used or a situation where you end up using someone (the latter is worse).
 
If ya like it then you shoulda put a ring on it....

Seriously though, I have had a relationship like that, and she moved on, and it sucked for a long time. Now I still feel bad about treating her the way I did. Your gonna do what your gonna do, but remember she is someones daughter, and if she is only sex to you, then one day there will come a man that treasures her for more than that, and she may not always be around as a convenience to you. If you like her, do the right thing and stick with her, forgive her and be by her side. If you don't, then do the right thing as well and let her be.

Trust me, I have had all kinds of jacked up relationships, I had fun a lot of the time, but those tally's are now to me lists of people and their families that I took part in screwing over. In the long run, it's not worth it.
 
All relationships, intimate, or less so, have emotions attached.
You can't pretend you don't care. You either do or you don't. Inside you know how you really feel.

I think it would not be worth it to continue on with her.
She obviously has some issues with men and/or self esteem if she is having a go with multiple guys at the same time.

The whole "friends with benefits" thing always ends badly for at least one of the persons involved.

Since you aren't into her for anything more than the s3x then you are better off telling her you don't want to see her anymore and move on.

Do you really want to be sleeping with someone who goes about so casually, having $ex with other dudes when you aren't around?

my 2.8 cents
 
If you could live with the fact that your girl has relationship with multiple guys or you don't care what other people say, I don't find anything wrong for you to continue with your relationship since you said that you like her and she likes you. But of course, your emotions will get the best of you in the end. She does not deserve a serious relationship.

But if you just want her for sex, then by all means go for it. Just make sure she does not carry any disease. Best thing to do is to have a background check on her, who she screws with, and if the guy who screws her love to screw other bitches regularly. Sorry for my foul language, there is no other way I could express it. :d

Never show that you are hurt with what she did to you. That would just increase her confidence and make her arrogant. Show her a face that what happened didn't affect you in any way. Always be in control of the situation even though it is tough for you.
 
The important thing is to be honest with yourself. You said you wanted to get more serious but she didn't want to, so now you are back to dating occassionally and that the relationship is purely about the s-x. Which is cool, if you are really cool with it, and that is what you need to be honest with yourself about. Frankly, as an outside observer, I don't think you are cool about it. Just the fact you posted about it here, tells me, that it is bothering you to an extent. You mentioned being jealous of her with other guys and asking for some trick to help you deal with this type of relationship. Im sorry my friend, but there are no tricks that can fool our hearts. Again, I say you have to be honest with yourself. It seems pretty clear that you have feelings for this lady that goes futher than the occassional booty call, so you have to ask yourself, what is it you really expect from this relationship and can you handle it if you don't get it.

My friend, life is so short and it is important to experience as much joy and happiness as we possibly can. Likewise, it is important to try and keep ourselves away from situations that bother us or make us unhappy. You noticed I said TRY, god knows that is so much easier said then done. S-x, hmmm that is about as joyful as it gets. But in reality it is a fleeting pleasure. Afterwards we are back to worring about what she's doing, who she's doing it with, and did she give you anything that is potentially uncurable. So the question is, is the brief time you are with her really worth all the extra baggage that comes with it. Only you can answer that.

The bottom line is I can only reccomend is that you do what gives you the most happiness in the long term. As an outside observer and speaking only from what information you have given, I would suggest that you consider letting this lady go and spend the time and energy you waste worring about this lady on finding a lady that is more in tune to your wants and desires. But as we all know, sometimes we have very little control when it comes to the affairs of our hearts, so again, all I can really say is, try and do what is best for you in the long run and good luck to you my friend.
 
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What struck me as the simple thing to do in this scenario, was to just let her go and see what happened. Maybe she`ll reconsider your relationship, if she knows she has to put something away to gain something else. So far, you might be the only thinking/worrying guy in this scenario, and it`s not good to spend too much time thinking/worrying. :)
 
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