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just lossing it

Discussion in 'Maddrakkett's Caffe' started by wazza_90210, Feb 2, 2009.

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  1. wazza_90210

    wazza_90210

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    hi guys i need to let some stuff out to people i dont no because im not dealling very well and ive lost everone that i trusted and i never seem to catch a break in life and i feel i need to do this
    so this is me
    im warrick
    i was born on the 29 04 92
    i lived with my mum and rarely saw my dad till iwas 15
    at around 3 or 4 my nan and pop on both sides started looking after me as my mum went back to work
    my fathers side are the best peopel i haev ever meet and with out them i would not be hear now
    my mother side are sick and pure evil
    my mothers father john
    beat raped and druged me from the age of 4 to 11 i do not no how much he has truly done to me
    i lived on a farm from age 11 and 12 and what happend to me as a kid slipped out of my mind at the age of 13 my parents sent me away to boarding school till i was around 16 boarding school was ruf i got picked on all the time because of my size and biuld always beaten up by the older guy or guys depending on how lucky i was at 14 my close friend mitcheal died
    15 i lost the two people i looked up to glen and on my last day of year 10 tyan past as well that was the last tiem i went there i stated a new life in ACT at a new school i hit the drugs and moved out of home with chris (my closed friend) lived with him for a few mouths gettitng deper into the drugs
    then one day i woke up and wanted out so i moved back home started again at a new school it helped me so much i was clean for 8 mouths i had a girl friend who i was in love with (as i have never loved b4 it was a big deal) then last week my girl friend dumped me with out reson so i went back to chrises and got into the drugs again (didnt mean to just happedn stated with drinking then turned to pot then speed) i sleeped with one of my bestfriends now she dosnt want anythen to do with me
    and all the stuff that happend to me as a kid i just cant deal with im slipping i was so happy then it got taken away from me as if it was gods will to test me so how much a child can take b4 they snap

    i have always lived by the rule a crap life is better then no life but atm im not sure if things dont improve i will just end it
    i have never asked for or been given anything
    but now i am
    i want happyness i want to be better i want god on myside and im sick of ever time i get something i haev worked for been striped away from me
    i want a break
    and i thoguht some how this would be how id get it
    dont post to this coment
    if u have some input email me
    at
    [email protected]
     
  2. Benjamin

    Benjamin

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    Oh my god, Warrick.
    That's a rough story to read - I can never understand what you've been through.

    I hope you'll stay strong with us, bro.
    You know what they say that things has to get worse before they improve? Well it seems like you've been out on the deep ♣♣♣♣ for a while. You should get of the drugs and try your best to start over. But whatever you do mate, don't end it!

    You're a bro on this forum and reading this story gives me a lump in the throat.
    I wish you all the best, Warrick.
     
  3. Grgzilla

    Grgzilla

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    I think it's best get some professional help & go to rehab.From there you can get all the help you need.
    Good luck mate.
     
  4. wazza_90210

    wazza_90210

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    ive been clean for almost 3 days now things havent been getting better but im getting used to it
     
  5. iuserneim

    iuserneim

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    you got to sit through, man !
    3 days is the beginning.

    now, think in long terms:
    just think of you, enjoying summer, and having touched drugs anymore.

    it's not like you have to cound the days you have been clean... it's more like you have to eliminate that option of ever going back to drugs again from your mind !!

    drugs are not a good thing. well, there are some rockstars who seem to have a good time using them (but i said "seem to"...)

    IRON WILL, man, iron will !
     
  6. Charmand G

    Charmand G

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    I`m sorry to hear the abusement and pain you have gone through.

    As mentioned, professional help is indeed something to consider, both letting you know that there is ways to deal with it, and that others have gone through same and been able to get up and move forward in life.

    I wish you well for your new beginning, and hope that you get rid of the drugs that haunt your veins at the moment. It`s a hard road for sure, but you have survived so far, and I`m very impressed about that.
     
  7. flipper_gv

    flipper_gv

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    once again, professional help is the way to go. It'll take time, it will hurt, but at the end, you'll be happy.