Annoying Bass Related Remarks (rant)

DiMarco

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Really, all of them are cliché.

A few examples of phrases that annoy the **** out of me include:
  • Slappa da bass mon!
  • Jaco only needed four
  • It's all in the fingers
First one: I don't even wanna talk to people who utter that stupid movie quote. Total waste of my breath. Head on back to your Netflix and stay out of my hair.

Second one: Let me rephrase: Jaco only HAD four. He would be brilliant on a five or six too. The man was a genius! The remark is often made by people lacking control over their own instrument when they see you play a five (yes it takes more control). When they play a five string themselves they can't stop the low B from droning, they blame the instrument for this. But okay Einstein here's my four string. Now you play me some Jaco tunes that are impossible on a five string. If you can't, keep your big mouth shut. Let me play my five string without having to tank your unsubstantiated opinion on what a bass should look like. The extra string gives me more options, makes some stuff easier to play for me because I know how to use it plus I really love the extended range on the low end of the frequency sprectrum.

Third: Stated by people who don't like to (or can't) think about things very much. It's NOT all in the fingers just like it is not all in the pickups. When we're talking TONE, it is in everything including the fingers. SIMPLE LOGIC. Take this Fender Precision and make it sound like a Warwick Thumb with your magical fingers. If you can't, keep your big mouth shut (oh boy are we in for a lengthy silence). Stating it's "all in the fingers" is really oversimplifying things in a way that's off the scale and VERY annoying to people who know sound.

/RANT

Got any annoying oneliners you need to get off your chest? Hit me.
 

Hardy

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Har!!! Great statement, Marco!
 
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'Bass players are failed guitarists'

This one annoys me because in my experience, the vast majority of bass players I know can play guitar reasonably well. However the number of times I have seen guitarists playing a bass and not having a clue about feel, tone and just basically playing the melody on it rather than something backing and outlining chords.
 

Nachobassman

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"Real bassplayers don't use picks".

Every time I hear someone say that stoopid phrase I leave the building and let them drown in thier own stoopidity. I don't deserve to be surrounded by that kind of energy.
 

Nachobassman

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'Bass players are failed guitarists'

This one annoys me because in my experience, the vast majority of bass players I know can play guitar reasonably well. However the number of times I have seen guitarists playing a bass and not having a clue about feel, tone and just basically playing the melody on it rather than something backing and outlining chords.
Agree.
Most guitar players I know could grab a bass and follow a song and play the riff, sure. But almost none of them could make it groove, even if their lifes depend on it. :)
 

Henrythe8

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So : "
  • Jaco only needed four" : my ass, he had a 5er. Next time someone says this, throw this picture and laugh manically.
116719153_3244950408945843_65160132499970321_n.jpg


- Bass players don't use pick : the wealthiest Bass Player of 'em all, the One That Started it : Paul McCartney, was a pick player. Numerous others. But just this is sufficient.

- Bass player sould only play the root on the kickdrum, like Cliff Williams : Man, listen to Cliff, REALLY, realise his extensive use of thirds, and silences. then look at TM Stevens.

- Bass Players don't use silly techniques like slap, tap, harmonics : Yeah, right the great masters of our times are just pumping 8th on the first 5 frets.

- Everyone that knows music theory knows there is no such thing as Solo Bass : yes, and that's why you still light yourself with a candle listening to some Musique De Chambre, as nothing ever evolves.
 
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There are people alive today who were born before the bass guitar was invented. For that reason (among others) I find it silly when anyone takes any kind of narrow-minded attitude about what a bass, a bassist, or a bass part should be. A big part of the joy of being a bassist, IMHO, is the fact that so much of the water is still uncharted. Go on certain bass forums, and you'd think the gods themselves handed down stone tables centuries ago with a whole bunch of rules. The funny thing being that many (if not most) successful artists are ignoring most of those rules, even as the dilettantes are scrambling over themselves to fall in line and conform.
 
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You guys pretty much covered all of my pet peeves, except for the pedal haters.

"Bass players shouldn't use effects, because bass should sound organic". There's nothing organic about pickups or amplifiers. If you want organic, go acoustic. Otherwise don't kid yourself.

"Compression is a crutch". Oh yeah? You're using it wrong.

"Pros don't use effects". Apparently no one told Doug Wimbish, Bootsy Collins, Flea, Les Claypool, Chris Whatshisname from Muse, the guy from Tool, etc, etc, etc.
 

Nachobassman

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You guys pretty much covered all of my pet peeves, except for the pedal haters.

"Bass players shouldn't use effects, because bass should sound organic". There's nothing organic about pickups or amplifiers. If you want organic, go acoustic. Otherwise don't kid yourself.

"Compression is a crutch". Oh yeah? You're using it wrong.

"Pros don't use effects". Apparently no one told Doug Wimbish, Bootsy Collins, Flea, Les Claypool, Chris Whatshisname from Muse, the guy from Tool, etc, etc, etc.
Oh, yeah, using FX pedals... right now I only use the "bassics": compressor, pream/D.I./overdrive and tuner. But, there was a time and a band when I traveled with a pedalboard with 8 pedals on it (tuner, compressor, wah, suboctave, chorus, phaser, Bassballs and Sansamp). If I had an € every time I got the "why do you use all those pedals if you are the bassplayer" phrase I would be millionaire.
And don't be mistaken, I didn't got that from guitar players only, it came from bassplayers, singers or drummers, too...

:rolleyes:o_O
 
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DiMarco

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"I don't use compressors, my playing is stable without it".

Compression is an effect. Not a fix for bad playing. I have two compressors. One makes the attack of every note more punchy so there's more senseand the other warms up my tone with tube goodness.
I do NOT use compressors because I can't play. I use them because they improve my tone.
 

BrusselsBass

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"I don't use compressors, my playing is stable without it".

Compression is an effect. Not a fix for bad playing. I have two compressors. One makes the attack of every note more punchy so there's more senseand the other warms up my tone with tube goodness.
I do NOT use compressors because I can't play. I use them because they improve my tone.
I compress only for option 1) Slappa da bass mon!
And 2) today Jaco would play a fretless 7
And 3) don't know where you had your fingers in before :D:eek:
 

Henrythe8

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It's called fingers speleology.
WHat's the english adjective for finger ? Fingery ? It's funny cuz in France, fingerprints are called Empreintes (prints) Digitales. Hence digital means finger stuff. The english meaning of digital is translated by numérique. Which makes sense, but so many people refer now to numérique by digital and it messes my brains. And I usually can't brain, I have the Dumb.
well. sorry.
Agreed, Jaco would probably play fretless 7 or so.
BTW, I saw a post from Obscura where a guy complaines about Jeroen playing a 7-strings bass.
Jeroen Paul Thesseling replied :
"because it sounds LOWER than the ultimate fart in your dreams"
 
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It's called fingers speleology.
WHat's the english adjective for finger ? Fingery ? It's funny cuz in France, fingerprints are called Empreintes (prints) Digitales. Hence digital means finger stuff. The english meaning of digital is translated by numérique. Which makes sense, but so many people refer now to numérique by digital and it messes my brains. And I usually can't brain, I have the Dumb.
well. sorry.
Agreed, Jaco would probably play fretless 7 or so.
BTW, I saw a post from Obscura where a guy complaines about Jeroen playing a 7-strings bass.
Jeroen Paul Thesseling replied :
"because it sounds LOWER than the ultimate fart in your dreams"

Digital is the correct word in English for "finger-related". It's a word that has several meanings in English.
 
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The usual mixing engineer bullshit:

"when bass is more present in the mix it conflicts with the other instruments"

'When bass is more present in the mix' I'm instantly drawn to the track :D!!

I love how a lot of music production from the 70s has clear and present bass and drums, that sound so thick.

Nowadays with the majority of mainstream music it's all about the vocal and everything else is set back and feels insignificant. To me anyway :)
 
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Nachobassman

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The usual mixing engineer bullshit:

"when bass is more present in the mix it conflicts with the other instruments"
I guess Andy Wallace didn't know that when mixed RATM's first record (for example). :D
 
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